Yule Blog

Ah, the Yule Log. That cost-effective bit of holiday television programming. Fire and music in high definition for those unable or unwilling to stoke their own. After a season in which Donald Trump proved increasingly agitating as he lorded over his crew of bland sycophants bitching at each other while completing irrelevant tasks, perhaps networks should look into the prospect of other logs to burn up our screens.

How about the Jewel Log? A wooden effigy of that Alaskan gap-toothed, bad high-school-poetry-writing, yodeling nincompoop.

Or maybe the April Fool Log? It's a burning log that people try to blow out, but that keeps re-lighting.

But none of these should be confused with the cherished Yul Brenner Log, which if course, is what Yul used to leave floating in the toilet after Christmas dinner. (Yes, I know he was Jewish)