Lip Stink

Just caught Lindsay Lohan's performance on "Ellen" (don't ask), and it's a ridiculous statement of the times we live in that she was surely coached to giggle and sigh into the live microphone when the song ended. Kind of like: "See? This thing actually works, and I'm actually singing my insipid kiddie pop!"

What's ridiculous is not that kiddie actresses grow up into buxom "young adult" actresses and seek to parlay their kiddie-cum-jailbait sexpot allure into a whorish singing career in the moldy mold of Britney Spears. Nope. It's that the grumpy dirty old man rock snobs actually give a shit about what crap they sing and how they sing it.

As though if Lindsay Lohan were to sing all of Blood on the Tracks a capella in a white thong, it would be more meaningful.

Me? I don't look to bubblegum pop for meaning. Just for the big, luscious bubbles.