My Big Fat $49 Offer

I just saw a commerical for the Jenny Craig weight-loss program that advertised you can lose all the weight you want for $49 (plus the cost of food). No kidding.

Plus the cost of food!

Let me take this time to advertise the Dick Bones weight-loss program. It's $49 worth of food (plus the cost of will power).

Now I know that skinny people who live in pancake houses shouldn't throw cheeseburgers. And if I've never struggled with weight, I've got no idea what's involved. So much of obsesity is genetic, and it's not really fair that I can eat huge portions and still remain thin. And it's damn hard to eat healthy food when you work two jobs and are raising three kids and the easiest thing to do is pick up McDonald's.

But if you choose not to eat wholesome food in sensible portions and simply can't endure some crummy hunger pangs, then I'm sorry, but my sympathy tends to drift toward people who are starving to death or who were born with AIDS or whose family was just washed away in a tsunami.

And if you can't keep to a sensible diet, send me the $49 and I'll offer my tough-love email ass-kicking services.