By Arielle
Bones and I are stumped, so I'm turning to you, remaining 1.5 blog readers, for help on this important quandry.
We're told these crazy terrorist hijackers are blowing themselves up for, among other things, the promise of 72 virgins. Well, who exactly are these virgins? Are they women (or more likely, young girls) being punished for something they did in life and sentenced to a hell that involves being loveslaves to hairy, socially inept terrorists? Do the terrorists get to pick which 72 they get, perhaps one or two they had summertime crushes on during Jihad camp? Or are they just afterlife nymphs who don't really exist?
I can't imagine there are really enough dead virgins for each one of these deluded "martyrs" to get 72. Or is that why their version of god kills so many innocent people, to restock the virgin supply every so often?
(Disclaimer for the obvious-challenged: No, I don't think these virgins really exist, or that these terrorists actually qualify as martyrs, or that their concept of heaven is even remotely close to what really happens when you murder thousands of people. But if these guys are staking their (in many cases, once-promising) lives on those 72 chicas, don't you think they might have some conception of who they'll be dealing with?)
Just wondering.
D. Bones
2 comments:
Well, I'm not so sure the authors of the Koran were anticipating such a surge in demand for afterlife martyr privileges.
I was always under the impressions -- from my Jewish ignorance -- that a true martyr couldn't choose to martyr himself. I always though it was something that was often unceremoniously thrust upon you. Because what is selfless about deciding you are going to die for a cause with all kinds of post-death goodies and then actively causing your own death? Sounds pretty selfish to me.
Now if you are a generous, kind person who is hung on a cross to save humanity. Then I say you qualify. Jesus didn't want to die. He questioned God's motives while on the cross. It was his doubt that made him human. And it is that doubt that today's Christianists and Muslims completely and conveniently eliminate from their worldview. Keep reading Andrew Sullivan. He's on the money.
Ok, granted, this whole 72 virgin scenario is probably not really taking place, and even if it were in theory an actual reward, these dudes wouldn't qualify. But what are these guys imagining? Do these virgins just come out of nowhere? Has anyone written about this?
I mean, if I were staking my life on, say, a heaven with a neverending supply of diet Coke and cupcakes, I'd sure as hell want to know what kind of frosting was on the cupcakes, if they had sprinkles, and whether there were any of those gross diet Coke with limes mixed into the bunch.
Post a Comment