Earwaxing Philosophical

You may have noticed I haven't blogged in a while. Or maybe you haven't, considering how few people visit this site. (Then again, if you don't visit this site, it's hard for you to read this post in the first place).

So much has happened since I last expressed my mind wanderings on the Fourth of July. We've had a Chinese Olympics with record-breaking accomplishments, pre-pubescent gymnasts and hours and hours of bikini-clad beach volleyball coverage. The New York Jets traded for a drama queen Hall of Famer in the twilight of his career. The Democrats nominated a black guy who should be president.

I could go on and on and on (and on) about this stuff. But what really got me all riled up today is this story about earwax.

Apparently, despite my lifelong history of swabbing the yellow shit out of my ears with fascinated disgust, earwax is good for you. Something about providing lubrication and whatnot. And -- get this -- it's self-cleaning!

Question: Ears have been on fully evolved human heads for, let's say to be conservative, forever. Why are we only learning this in 2008? And has anyone told the Q-Tip people?

This is not a casual question. It seems everything I've ever been taught growing up turns out to be wrong. Milk does the body good (it doesn't, really. And when you think that we're the only species that drinks the milk of another species, it's kinda gross). Smoking isn't addictive. Fox is fair and balanced. Michael Bolton is talented. All lies.

So forgive me for my cynicism and skepticism. So much of what is wrong in our world derives from someone else exploiting neuroses and fear to make money. If I ever meet the dude that invented Q-Tips, I'm gonna stick a handfull of swabs up his ass. Take that, Leo Gerstenzang!