Monday, October 29, 2007

Only $29.95 - the Boras Bullshit Translator

By TPerl




As reported in today's NY Post:

"I got a call from Alex tonight, and he is going to opt out," Scott Boras, Rodriguez's agent, told The Post last night during Game 4 of the World Series. “He was just too unsure with new ownership talking about a transition where the organization is going right now. He is not sure what is going to happen with [free agents] Mariano [Rivera] and [Jorge] Posada, and if Andy Pettitte is coming back. He needs more time to assess where the Yankees are going in the future."

Now here's that quote using my new BBT-Boras Bullshit Translator (patent pending):

"I told A-Rod that I was going to announce it today. I know we have at least another 10 days, but fuck me if I'm going to let the Red Sox take the front page away from my $30 million dollar baby. He was unsure how I would spin it - I said I'll make up some excuse about 'uncertainty during the transition' and blah, blah, blah - cause I think all fans are idiots and all owners fear me."

It's no surprise A-Rod opted out, but Boras really must think highly of himself if he thinks nobody sees through his ridiculously self-serving antics. Or more likely, he and A-Rod just don't care.

I know there's no more loyalty in sports (except from us gullible fans, that is), but I still hold out hope that one day I'll be pleasantly surprised - maybe the Yanks holding true to their word to not negotiate with A-Rod would be a good start.

3 comments:

arielle said...

Smithers, is it wrong to cheat to win a million dollar bet on a baseball game?

Yes sir.

Smithers, is it wrong if I cheat to win a million dollar bet on a baseball game?

No sir, not at all sir, who should I have killed?

Anonymous said...

The worst part of Boras' comments was that he referred to Posada, Rivera, and Pettitte as "his catcher, his closer, and one of his starters" the "his" being A-rod's.

HIS? And he wonders why the whole world thinks he's not a team player.

TPerl said...

N1MLF - Yep. Boras is pulling A-Rod's puppet strings but A-Rod doesn't fight it. If salaries were based on class and leadership instead of MVP awards, Jeter would be making $40 million per and A-Rod would be hoping to be invited to Spring Training next year.

Arielle - It's called playing the percentages. It's what good managers do to win ballgames.