CONNECTICUT - After 34 years of celebrations, a stunning new record has emerged, suggesting that D. Bones has hated birthdays since as far back as 1977.
"I don't like birthdays!" Bones, 34, exclaimed Friday morning, shortly after opening his presents and answering a celebratory phone call.
It appears this is nothing new. New evidence unearthed from a photograph hanging on the wall in the Bones residence indicates a less-than-happy response to an early birthday cake.
It was unclear whether the young Bones was responding to his birthday, the party letdown, or the 1970s-era overuse of denim, sources said.
"Something always went wrong," Bones explained. "Something stupid that got me upset."
"I cried at my first five [birthdays] at least," he continued. "I mean, I was an infant for at least two of them."
Bones, who insisted that he and his future wife have a wedding rather than elope, maintained that he dislikes being the center of attention. "Like it's any great accomplishment to grow older," he said. "And I never like the gifts I get."
Bones then complained about his shoes. "That's what you should have gotten me," he mumbled as he tried to fish a pebble out of a small hole in the heel. "Shoes."
3 comments:
I think Rick still cries on his birthday.
Anyway...you should have seen his reaction when his mother got him some E.T. doll but that may have been a different occassion other than his birthday.
We'll celebrate in the parking lot on Sunday !
hysterical post!
Happy Shoes
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