By TPerl
Most of you without young 'uns probably missed this one, but I think it's worthy of my ever-expanding "WTF File". Let's examine:
- OK, another Disney straight-to-DVD video - I see the money-making potential.
- Hmmm, another sequel to a supposed "Disney Classic"? Well at this point, if they can make a Bambi 2, I guess they can make a sequel to anything.
But now this. The next Cinderella sequel - The tagline is "What If?" and the quick synopsis goes: "The evil stepmother conjures up a spell that reverses all of which the fairy godmother did."
So in other words, what if this classic story, the story that in itself is a metaphor, never happened? I think this is just taking things too far for the sake of a extra buck. It's some kind of fairy tale blasphemy, and I can't believe Disney went along with it.
But why stop now? Let's go even further - "What if...
...the Little Mermaid was really a mer-man underneath those fins, and he ain't little if you know what I mean?"
...Sleeping Beauty was a lesbian and would only wake up to some hot princess-on-princess action?"
...Peter Pan was really a 58-year-old pedophile with a rare genetic disorder?"
...Bambi's Mom wasn't really killed?...and it turns out she wasn't really planning on having a baby either...because she was a crackhead...and was raped by a coked-up moose...and when crack-baby half-moose Bambi came out, she stuffed him in a garbage bag and threw him in the stream...then sucked Thumper's dick for more crack money?"
OK. Sorry about that - watching the same Disney DVD 5 times a day for 6 months does things to a man.
2 comments:
'Scuse me for getting to this party late (and not posting on my own blog for over a week)...
But was there a "Cindarella II"? Was Joe Pesci in it? Or Dan Akroyd doing a Bill Murray impression?
Quick note: When speaking of a mer-man, are you capable of avoiding the image of Ben Stiller with pointy sideburns at a bar with John Voight and Vince Vaughn?
And speaking of sequels, can anyone believe there hasn't been a "Titanic II: The Curse of Jack"? Or even "Schindler's Second List: The Groceries"?
There's money to make here, people!
Welcome back. It's like I'm talking to myself over here, instead of the usual 3 or 4 people who actually read this blog.
Not only was there a Cinderella II, but there was a Little Mermaid II (and III comes out this year I think), Lady and the Tramp II, Peter Pan II, Lion King II (followed by Lion King 1 1/2), and of course there were sequels for all the other lesser Disney films.
By the way, we of course now own Cinderella III and watched it for the first time last night. No Dan Akroyd, but it was a little disturbing when the prince shaved off his pubes and threw them out the window, and then they got sucked into a vent and ended up all over the wedding cake.
I thought the Titanic sequel was "Titanic II: Titanic-er"?
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