Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Science Fiction

So apparently, drinking too much water while exercising can kill you. And fat people live longer. And nobody agrees on when to yank wisdom teeth. And the only reason to circumcize a baby's penis seems to be conformity.

It's disheartening when someone who lives his life within the confines of reason and scientific inquiry encounters some of the recent insanity of the medical profession. There's no sense to anything anymore. One day they tell you milk does the body good. Then it's some evil, pus-and-blood-filled fatty poison. Today's cure-all is tomorrow's carcinogen. Why can't we get this shit straight?

I mean, human beings have been investigating everything about their bodies from the moment we got them. Scientists write research papers on everything from how many times we blink in a day to the chemical composition of our farts. And after thousands of years of investigation, only last week do we discover what happens when we drink too much water? Water? We spend $55 million to build 450-mile tunnels to study subatomic particles traveling through Deluth, Minn. Why in fuck are we only learning about the dangers of overdrinking now?

And if any of you have Showtime, you MUST watch "Penn & Teller's Bullshit!" premiering Mondays at 10. This week they examined the stupidity of lopping of the top of every penis born in the United States.

Now, I'm happy and comfortable with my penis, something I'm sure comforts you all. Uncircumsized penises look odd and a bit frightening to me, and I take it, many women. But if there is no medical advantage to removing the foreskin (and there is no clear evidence that there is) and if slicing through a newborn baby's most senstive part can be construed as traumatic and cruel (you've got to see the graphic footage on this show if you have any doubt) and if the foreskin is apparently chock full of nerves that aid sexual arousal and trigger ejaculation, then why destroy something that we are born with? As Penn points out, a doctor's first duty is "do no harm." It seems strange that because of the hocum of religion and bunk science, we routinely alter something that must have some evolutionary value. We don't chop off pieces of our children's toys if the box doesn't tell us to.

All that being said, I'll keep my penis, thank you.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh, stop complaining

if it doesn't occur to you that running, non-stop, for 26 miles, while chugging 3 liters of water might be harmful to your overall health, then you don't deserve the advice of the medical community

D. Bones said...

Apparently, Anonymous, you've intuitively understood something that runs contrary to all the medical advice we've been getting for decades, if not hundreds of years. Not to mention all those gatorade commercials.

Anonymous said...

I've put together a little page to help buick turbo
people find good places for buick turbo
related sites. If you get a chance check out buick turbo
.
Keep the shiny side UP!. Ray in San Diego**KEYWOR

Anonymous said...

San Diego is having a Hot Rod Halloween on Sunday, October 30. If you love dodge show truck then you will want to be there! All kinds of dodge show truck will be in attendance. For more information go to dodge show truck
See Ya There!!