Thursday, April 30, 2009
Favre Christ's Sake
Quick thoughts on the reincarnated speculation Brett Favre will once again un-retire and try to play football.
When Favre played for the Packers, I always rooted for him. Right up to the very last interception he threw against the Giants.
When Favre played for the Jets, I rooted for him. But only because, as a Jets fan, I had to. (See: Rick Mirer, Bubby Brister, Ray Lucas, Frank Reich, Browning Nagle, Neil O'Donnel, etc.)
If Favre comes back to play for the Vikings or some other team, I will root against him. With rabid glee.
And if he stays retired, struggling with the finality of his decision while mowing his Mississippi lawn with a tractor, I swear to God, I will root for the weeds.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
And Knowing Is Half The Battle
For those of you who grew up watching G.I. Joe, here's a more mature take on the franchise from Adult Swim. People actually get shot. No convenient parachutes from exploding helicopters. And it still hits the nostalgia sweet spot. I don't know what to make of this summer's life-action movie, but this came out of nowhere and entertained me.
And enjoy the spoof public service announcements above. Pork chop sandwiches!
Monday, April 13, 2009
100 Ways To Procrastinate
A compilation of "The 100 Most Iconic Internet Videos."
Go ahead. You know you have nothing to do today.
Friday, April 10, 2009
When Will The World End?
I remember learning about the five Ws in elementary school. These were the question words. All of the world's answers lay just beyond their asking.
In our global, digitally connected society, that has never been more true.
Still, I never really think of asking Google direct questions. Mostly I use keywords. The idea of typing “Why does my ass hurt?” doesn't seem, to me, as productive or as elegant as simply typing “hemorrhoids” or “sex play riding crop injury.”
But all you need to do these days is type a word or two into the Google search box, and by perusing the automated suggestions you can get a pretty good idea of what's on people's minds.
Some are scientific: Why is the sky blue? What does my name mean?
Some are political: Who should I vote for? Where do I vote?
Some are paranoid: Where was Obama born? Why do men cheat?
(Be careful typing in something like “why do black.” At least if anyone is watching you. Or you have a sense of shame.)
And my favorites are philosophical, enigmatic, and – if you don't recognize the pop cultural significance of the phrase – absurd: Where the hell is Matt? Who moved my cheese? When will I grow up? Why do men have nipples? Why do dogs eat poop? Why did I get married? Where are they now?
Indeed. Questions for the ages.
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Google's suggestions for life's burning questions in April 2009:
Who wants to be a millionaire
Who is
Who wants to be a millionaire online game
Who killed the electric car
Who is big poppa on real housewives of altanta
Who wants to be a millionaire game
Who is winning the election
Who should I vote for
Who moved my cheese
Who is my congressman
What not to wear
What is my ip
What does my name mean
What time is the inauguration
What is my ip address
What time is it
What i like about you
What is a good credit score
What is twitter
When i grow up lyrics
When is easter 2009
When is the superbowl
When does twighlight come out on dvd
When is the superbowl in 2009
When is superbowl 2009
When will i die
When is thanksgiving
When will i grow up
When will the world end
Where do I vote
Where does the vice president live
Where was Obama born
Where the wild things are
Where are they now
Where is Santa
Where do I go to vote
Where the hell is Matt
Where are you Christmas lyrics
Where am I registered to vote
Why is the sky blue
Why do cats purr
Why do men cheat
Why so serious
Why did the chicken cross the road
Why do men have nipples
Why lyrics
Why did i get married
Why do dogs eat poop
Why georgia lyrics
How to tie a tie
How i met your mother
How to kiss
How to get pregnant
How stuff works
How to cook a turkey
How to
How to lose weight
How to draw
How to knit
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Raise The Bridge!
For some wonderful nostalgia of a dying newspaper, don't miss his latest blog post.