And I Feel Fine

Let's review.

The global economy is circling the drain with dramatic sloshing not seen since The Great Depression. Two satellites crashed in space adding to a cloud of debris that may one day prevent us from even safely launching anything into space. Two nuclear submarines collided in the Atlantic Ocean. Andy Dick appears to be one of the more well adjusted residents of VH-1's "Sober House." Peanut butter can kill you. And a Connecticut woman has her hands ripped off by a rampaging, Xanax-popping, wine swilling, plant-watering 14-year-old 200-pound domesticated chimpanzee.

Please draw your own conclusions.

Names

I have unilaterally decided my unborn (and unconceived) children will be named Dunaci (rhymes with "moon in sky" and Laguaszjaton (rhymes with "he weighs a ton" with more of a Zhivago sound in the middle). That is all.