Monday, October 29, 2007

Only $29.95 - the Boras Bullshit Translator

By TPerl




As reported in today's NY Post:

"I got a call from Alex tonight, and he is going to opt out," Scott Boras, Rodriguez's agent, told The Post last night during Game 4 of the World Series. “He was just too unsure with new ownership talking about a transition where the organization is going right now. He is not sure what is going to happen with [free agents] Mariano [Rivera] and [Jorge] Posada, and if Andy Pettitte is coming back. He needs more time to assess where the Yankees are going in the future."

Now here's that quote using my new BBT-Boras Bullshit Translator (patent pending):

"I told A-Rod that I was going to announce it today. I know we have at least another 10 days, but fuck me if I'm going to let the Red Sox take the front page away from my $30 million dollar baby. He was unsure how I would spin it - I said I'll make up some excuse about 'uncertainty during the transition' and blah, blah, blah - cause I think all fans are idiots and all owners fear me."

It's no surprise A-Rod opted out, but Boras really must think highly of himself if he thinks nobody sees through his ridiculously self-serving antics. Or more likely, he and A-Rod just don't care.

I know there's no more loyalty in sports (except from us gullible fans, that is), but I still hold out hope that one day I'll be pleasantly surprised - maybe the Yanks holding true to their word to not negotiate with A-Rod would be a good start.

3 comments:

  1. Smithers, is it wrong to cheat to win a million dollar bet on a baseball game?

    Yes sir.

    Smithers, is it wrong if I cheat to win a million dollar bet on a baseball game?

    No sir, not at all sir, who should I have killed?

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  2. Anonymous10:34 AM

    The worst part of Boras' comments was that he referred to Posada, Rivera, and Pettitte as "his catcher, his closer, and one of his starters" the "his" being A-rod's.

    HIS? And he wonders why the whole world thinks he's not a team player.

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  3. N1MLF - Yep. Boras is pulling A-Rod's puppet strings but A-Rod doesn't fight it. If salaries were based on class and leadership instead of MVP awards, Jeter would be making $40 million per and A-Rod would be hoping to be invited to Spring Training next year.

    Arielle - It's called playing the percentages. It's what good managers do to win ballgames.

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